It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
