____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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