omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
