I've blown a few things in my day
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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