bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
