OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Small penises have feelings too.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
