WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
