I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
