then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
