i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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