the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
