I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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