I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
