I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
