youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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