That's intense
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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