So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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