when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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