she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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