And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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