so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
