Your tits are I can't wait for
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
