I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't put those talents on a resume
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
