Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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