yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
