I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
