I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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