:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
