I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
