No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
