why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
