Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
