So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
