I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize