sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
