When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
