I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I cockslap morals
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
