Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
