you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
