help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
