On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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