i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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