Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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