we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
