I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
