We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
