how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
They should really pass out barf bags in church
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
