franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
