Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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