Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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