do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
