It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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