Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
