Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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