she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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