Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
