Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
