yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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