He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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