I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
