When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
