I hate all girls vehemently.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
