that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
