i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
