just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
